A Tribute Of My Love For My Son, Shaun
Home | The Rest Of The Story | Messages from Mom | Shaun's Resting Place | How Shaun Left | Flower Garden | Poems | Pictures | Shaun and Friends | Victim Impact Statement of Mom | Shaun's and his Family
The Rest Of The Story

dhunt.jpg

 

Shaun would have loved this picture. It reminded me of all the times he hunted on this one farm and never got a deer. The old farmer really liked Shaun and wanted him to get one so he told him"Son It looks like I'm going to have to catch a deer and tie it to a tree so you can finality tell everyone "I got one".

 

 

angelshaun.jpg

words006.jpg

My hope is that you will hear this song from a Mothers point of view. I know us Mothers had done this many many times, just sit and watch our babies sleeping, lost in peaceful dream and wondering would they ever doubt how much we loved them? Is the love we gave them in the past enough for them to always know just how much we loved them. God, I hope I did!! I love this song because it was mine and Shaun’s but it says what a Mother feels in her heart.

 

 

 

shauns_camoshirt.gif

The song you are listening to: "If Tomorrow Never Comes" became mine and Shaun's special song one day when we were sitting at an intersection in Stanford, Kentucky waiting for the light to turn. I loved this song from the first time I had heard it. The song says things that I had never really thought about until that day. So while we sat there I ask Shaun, "If tomorrow never comes would you really know just how much I love you?" Shaun's response was so typical when he said" Mom you know I would, would you know how much I love you?' So from that day on this became OUR SONG!

 

 

 

 

Now I would like to share with you the story about my loving son Shaun. His father Jerry and I were married June 12, 1976. We decided to wait a little while before having a child. Two years later we felt the time was right to make our house a home. I found out I was pregnant around August 1978 and I loved being pregnant. As I started to show I was so excited! The first time I heard his heart beat was on September 7, 1978. It was like music to my ears. My midwife told me he was going to be a girl, so I really got ready for a girl. At the next doctors' visit I took a tape recorder with me. I had to get this on tape for "her". She was going to know just how much she was wanted. When we started the nurse said, "We are going to listen to little Miss Maggards heart beat today." As time went by I was getting sooo big! I was really ready for her to come. I was watching Hee Haw on March 3, 1979, on Saturday night when I realized I was going into labor. She took her time, 12 hours of hard labor and it was all natural, no pain killer! I must admit I sure thought I was going to die. My sister Marcella stayed with me through it all. I had also taken the tape recorder to get her first cry. On March 4, 1979, at 8:42 p.m., he made his grand entrance into our lives. He weighed 7lbs 15oz . I will never forget when they said "Its a boy". I think I was in shock because my first words were, "IT'S A BOY!?!?!", but I loved him so much and I could hardly wait to get home and erase the part on the tape that said "We're going to listen to little Miss Maggard's heart beat." I would have never ever had him really think we wanted a girl and not him. As he got older I realized I could have left that part in there and it would not have bothered him at all. He always knew he was loved and a much needed baby. From that day on he became my baby boy and for the rest of his life that's how he would sign his letters, cards or anything else he gave me, "Your Baby Boy Shaun". As I look back through his baby books I realize he grew up way too fast for Mom.

I'm sure he was no more than 5 when he would sit by a creek that ran by his Mamaw Baker's house for hours fishing. I know this is hard to believe but he would catch minnows in that creek. Shaun was born to love the great outdoors. He loved collecting knives and guns. I don't think he would have hurt anything or anyone just to be mean. He was a very loving and caring young boy. I don't know of anyone who knew him that didn't like or really love him. After his Dad and I divorced it was just him and I. We moved away from the place he had spent the first few years of his life. It was good, but we both missed home. He loved looking for arrowheads on anyones' farm who would let him and that was alot of people. I think everyone who took the time to get to know him always welcomed him.

After the second divorce from what we all hoped would last forever but didn't, we moved the second time to the same little town as we did the first: Stanford, Kentucky. Shaun was somewhat older and we had to move to town which he never liked. I understood it was hard for him, so I tried to get him out in the woods as much as I could. As I look back, I wish I could have enjoyed the whole outdoor scene as he did. I know now if I could go back, I would go hunting with him. I did take him fishing a lot, but I always read a book while he fished. Now I beat myself up a lot for not making myself like these things that he loved so dearly. I can think back to all the times I dropped him off to go deer hunting. Just before daylight he would make me be so quiet. He said the deer could hear us. Sometimes he would get upset if I ate anything. As he'd get out of the car he would say the deer could smell what I was eating. I sure loved that boy of mine, so most of the time I just stayed in the car and let him get his hunting things out by himself. Then I would watch him disappear into the life he loved so dearly, the woods. Looking back I realize he was so young, yet so mature for his age. We both knew he had a certain amount of time to be out of the woods before I would start to worry and if he was late I would be going nuts. He was doing what he loved best, so he would stay as long as he could and then run back to meet me. He always knew I would be going out of my mind with worry if he was late. I just wish I could call back the time and be a deer hunter myself and go with him. I never liked to fish much but, if I could only go back I would be on the bank fishing right beside him. I sure wouldn't be reading a book. Life is too short and I'm so sorry for all that I didn't do. But one thing is for sure, Shaun and I both knew how much we loved each other.

We started a little tradition when he was a baby. When I wanted a kiss from him all I would do was touch my cheek and he would kiss me. Oh God, how I loved that baby boy of mine. The last time I saw him on April 23, 1998, as I was leaving I touched my cheek and he kissed me good-bye. As all the times before, I told him I loved him and he knew where I was if he needed me and he said the same to me. I was, as most mothers do, telling him to please take care and be careful in what ever he did. Never knowing it would be our last time together he told me, "Mom you worry too much. I'll be alright".

I was leaving to find us a place to stay. When he got out of school we were moving back to Stanford so he could find work. I truly thank God for letting me tell him I would give him enough money out of the sale of our house to help him pay down on a baby farm to get him started. This was a dream of his, to have a place of his own to hunt and fish on. So, to be near my baby boy, it became my dream too. I talked to him on May 1, 1998, and this, as it turned out to be, was our last time to talk. It went something like this. He called me at a friend's house, when I answered I said,"Hello." He said, "Hello", and there was a pause in between. I said "Hello", he said, "Well mom I didn't recognize you," and I said "Well Shaun I didn't recognize you either." We talked about him coming and he wanted to bring his friend, Kelly. I told him we would talk about it later and I'm not for sure what else we talked about.

Shaun and I had a good life together. It got a little hard sometimes, but he didn't do without the things he needed. He came home from school one day and told me, "Mom I don't like to wear new clothes to school." I said, "Why son?" He said, "Mom, other kids that are my friends don't have nice things to wear and I don't want them to think that I think I'm better than them because some of my clothes are new." Did I tell you I loved that baby boy of mine, Shaun?

He really did care about others. One time he came home with his school pictures he was wearing someone else's shoes. I said, "Shaun, whose shoes do you have on in this picture?" He said, " Mom they are Red Wings and I just borrowed them from a friend to have my pictures taken in." I wonder if I ever bought him any after that? I can't remember, but I sure hope I did. I hope you have enjoyed reading about my son. He really did enjoy his short time with us and he lived life everyday. You hardly ever saw Shaun when he didn't have a smile on his face. He seemed to always be high on life and have a never ending supply of love for others. God only knows how much I miss and love him everyday.

Love, Mom

next_foreverinmyheart.jpg

guestview_foreverinmyheart.jpg

guestsign_foreverinmyheart.jpg